Carnival

“Wait up, Revel!” Timothy cried out, running through the dirt and weed field. He was kicking up dust, dirtying up his black dress shoes and the bottom of his Dickies. He stopped for a moment, watching his sandy blond friend increase the distance between them. He started running again, “Revel, please! I don't want to get in trouble with the Sunday school teacher!” He shrieked.

Revel slowed and turned toward Timothy, “You're not worried about the Sunday school teacher you're worried about your Mom!” He teasingly called out. Unlike Timothy, Revel wore tennis shoes and casual clothes. “Now come on, before they notice we're gone! I want to know you something, or should I ask your Maamee for permission!” He taunted, waving his arms wildly.

Timothy let out a howl and ran after Revel, who bolted again. “Take that back!” Timothy howled, chasing Revel. He ran reckless, his head down and his arms flailing. When Timothy stepped and slipped, he felt himself fall through the air. He laid dazed, clouds drifted through the sky, lazily. The edges of Timothy's mouth stretched to a smile. He rolled onto his stomach and stood up, dusting himself off. “Revel?” He called out. He hesitated running, instead jogged where Revel wanted them to go. He saw the carousel from a distance, from as far away as he was Timothy could see pieces of the carousel were missing completely. The horse was missing one of his legs, the carousel was a rusted color and the paint faded beyond recognition, the mirrors were broken in spiderweb, patterns, the trees that used to surround the area were cut down to stubs, the place had a smell of filth. There was a lake a little while from there, Timothy thought, that's probably where all the smell is coming from. His eyes grew wide and he looked around wildly.

“Where's Revel?” He murmured to himself. “It isn't like him to be so quiet for so long.” He began to walk around the carousel, nearly tripping on Revel laying on the ground. Timothy let out a shriek and began shaking Revel, his breathing was quiet. Timothy let out a howling cry, “Revel wake up!” He shouted. He tried picking up Revel and he nearly fell over, between sobs Timothy called out Revel's name. He looked at Revel again and sniffed. “I'll be back Revel, ok? I'll bring help.” He wiped his eyes on his jacket sleeve and ran toward the Sunday school.

Revel felt a sharp pain in his head when he woke up and he let out a groan. He looked up and saw the carousel, white and pink trim. He took a deep breath, “Where am I?” He asked, sitting up and holding his head. His eyes traced the carousel, then the green grass, and a wired fence with trees surrounding him. He let out a whimper. “Timothy?” He weakly cried out. There was silence, then he heard footsteps.

“Cinna!” A girl's voice called out. “Nevermind, let's just climb the fence and ditch this place.” Revel watched the girl, no older than his Sunday School Teacher grab onto the fence, oblivious to the witness.

“Hello?” Revel asked. She jumped and her head snapped, looking at Revel. Her hair was done in pigtails buns and they were puffed out, her make-up was thick and raccoon-esque, and her clothes had every color and several layers, an out-of-order rainbow. She let go of the fence and crossed her arms. “What are you doing here?” She asked.

“Did yous find her?” A voice called out, deep and manly.

“I found someone else.” She said plainly, her eyes fixed on Revel.

“Whaddya mean you found someone else?” He asked, with a note of astonishment.

“Come here and see, Bepo.” She ordered, never looking away. Revel felt his voice backed up in his throat. The man named Bepo came quickly and stood tall, Revel wasn't sure he met someone as tall as Bepo was.

“What's wit de kid?” He questioned, crossing his arms. Both stared at Revel now.

“Oh, my turn.” He murmured. “I...” He blushed, “I wanted to show Timmy the broken carousel.” He explained quickly.

“Broken?!” Bepo demanded. “The carousel shouldn't be broken it just got built.” He looked at Revel sternly, “Don't lie you little punk, I eat kids like you for breakfa-” The girl punched him in the arm.

“Now, now, what do you mean? Who's Timmy? And where did you hear the carousel is broken from?” She asked.

Revel felt warm, “Timmy is my best friend! He's suppose to be following me through the field.” He gradually whispered. As he spoke. Then he looked stern, “The carousel has always been broken, no one comes here and does anything to make sure it works.” He affirmed.

Bepo and the girl looked at one another, then back at Revel. “This carousel was just built and you's telling me's it's broken?” Bepo responded.

“The carousel was not just built!” Revel's face puffed up, “It's been around since before I was born, my Papa even wrote he loved my Mom in marker!”

“Listen kid, you's a baby but you's ain't tat young.” Bepo grunted, slapping the back of his fingers in his palm, “This carousel was brought here a little over a year ago, don't go telling me anything to the contrary.” He looked at Revel sternly as he spoke; then smiled little and pressed his finger into his forehead. “I don't mean ta scare you or anything.” He apologized, looking at Revel who stared at his shoes, head hung low.

“You have to treat kids nicer, Bepo. He's not one of your friends from the bar, he's sensitive, he's probably not even old enough to go to a movie by himself.” The girl scolded. Bepo looked at her, scratching the back of his head. Revel raised his head and watched them.

“Yes ma'am.” Bepo whispered, his head hung low.

The girl smiled, triumphantly, and looked at Revel, rubbing her nose with her finger. “We should talk to the Bossman about the kid, yeah? I mean, kids just don't wander back here, especially with the circus tent up and all of us standing about.” She looked around. “Hell, the cops would probably lock him up for the night until they find where his home is.” She muttered.

Revel's eyes grew, “I bet everyone at Sunday school knows I'm gone by now.” He whined.

“Why would you be at Sunday school?” The girl asked, her head tilted.

Revel looked confused, “Because today is Sunday?” His voice was high-pitched as he answered. Bepo and the girl looked at each other, both frowning.

“I thought today was Wednesday.” The girl whispered.

“It is.” Bepo affirmed. Their heads turned and they stared at Revel, synchronized in motion. She made a high pitched humming sound. Revel puffed out his cheeks. “Let's go to the Bossman.” Bepo suggested. “He's nice, you'll like him.” Bepo winced as if saying that sentence hurt him. Revel looked around once again, before agreeing.

“You found him near the carousel?” The Bossman repeated, staring at Bepo and the girl. He was about half the size of Bepo, even if he stood on tables he was still much shorter. Revel could hear them clearly from outside the trailer.

“He was, he didn't look like he knew where he was, lost as a drunkard in his first AA meeting.” Bepo noted. The girl turned her head and looked at Bepo, a smile twitched from her mouth.

“Duly noted.” The Bossman said, his mouth puckered and he looked deep in thought. “ It won't be good for us if the cops come around with a Missing Persons on the kid.” The girl let out high-pitched hum and shook her head.

The girl crossed her arms, “We should let him spend the night here, and in the morning go to the cops. By then someone will have reported him.” She looked out the window, “At least I hope someone reported him.”.
“No, no cops.” The Bossman ordered, “The kid is old enough to know where he lives, you can walk him there tomorrow. But absolutely no cops.” He scowled, “Where's the little brat gonna stay anyway?” He asked.

“With the girls, of course, he doesn't need to be with the Lion tamer and Bepo in their trailer. Or the tattooed man, or any of the other guys who work here.” The girl quickly answered.

Bepo let out a quiet chuckle, “I'm sure you didn't mean offense.”

“Oh, I meant offense.” The girl replied, grinning widely.

The Bossman's mouth twitched into a frown and he looked as if he suddenly solved a puzzle, “Why were you two out in the forest for anyway?” His voice had a accusatory tone to it.

“What do ya think wes were doing?” Bepo snapped. “We was looking for Cinna, since no one else seems to give a damn!” His voice shook the trailer, and Revel tensed up.

The Bossman's face became deep red, “I told you not to waste your time on her cause; she dug herself a hole she gotta get herself out of that hole!” He screamed.

“Cinna wouldn't even look at us and then suddenly she books like that! It's rotten eggs and I gots the suspicion yous the bad hen!” Bepo's voice strained as he screamed. The girl tugged on Bepo's arm, trying to quiet his voice.

“Are you accusing me of something, Bepo?” The Bossman challenged, his fingers tapped at his chest, “If you're accusing me of something you better goddamn be prepared for consequences!” Both the girl and Bepo stared at the Bossman.

Revel shook, trying to hold back tears, 'stop, stop yelling' he thought to himself. A cool breeze touched his cheek and a soft glow came from between the trailers. “Why are you crying?” Whispered the phantom woman.

Revel looked up at her, vaguely she resembled the girl who was helping him. He let out a whine and shook his head. From the trailer, the girl was still sobbing and Bepo and the Bossman were silent. Bepo's eyes piercing and his fist clenched.

“Well?” The woman asked.

Revel wiped his eyes, “I wanna go home.” He whined.

The woman knelt beside Revel, she was translucent, Revel could see the trailer through her. “If you go home now, you won't be able to tell anyone where I am.” She whispered.

“Where you are?” Revel stammered.

The woman looked at herself, the longer Revel stared, the more detailed she became, her face was boated, she looked sickly. “Water.” She struggled for breath and started to shake wildly. Inside the trailer, Revel could hear Bepo screaming profanities. The woman gasped and looked at Revel, her eyes wide, “Tell them, you want to join the circus. You'll do anything.” Her body twitched and gasped. “Don't trust the Bossman – I'll come to see you again!”

The door opened to the trailer, Bepo stood with his fist clenched. “Now who's accusing who's of something now?!” He screamed.

The girl followed Bepo out, her eyes red and puffed. Revel turned to the ghost, but she had disappeared. He couldn't bring himself to speak, if he tried, he might drown.

“Come on.” The girl said, holding her hand out. Revel reached out and stood up. The Bossman watched from the doorway as the three walked away.

Revel laid on the army cot in the bedroom, the door was open a crack and he could hear the women talk amongst each other.

"Do you really think Cinna is gone forever?” One of the voices asked, causing a clamor among the rest of the ladies.

“You shouldn't listen on their conversations.” The ghostly woman criticized.

Revel looked out the door, “I don't know what's going on.” He whispered and looked at the ghost woman. “Your name is Cinna... right?” He winced a little. “I mean, you could be anyone else, but you're... probably Cinna.”

The ghost woman tilted her head, “Yes. And no.” She answered.

“Yes and no.” Revel repeated, frowning.

Cinna laughed a little, “Nevermind.” Her arms crossed. “I need to ask you a favor.”

Revel looked blankly. “Sure, considering you brought me here... I think.” He tilted his head.
Cinna nodded, “I did.” She answered, then came close to Revel, “I brought you here for a reason, I've spent my undead life trying for peace, but I need help.”

Revel looked down, “Tell me what I can do.” He answered.

“Are you talking to yourself?” The girl opened the door, looking at Revel.

The ghost disappeared. Revel turned to the girl and smiled, “I suppose I am.” He replied.

She tilted her head and giggled. closing the door. He heard her muffled voice, then muffled laughter.

Revel wrapped the blanket around him and stared at the wall. “What is my reason?” He asked, hoping Cinna would answer.

**

“Are you sure this is where you live?” The girl asked as they walked along the sidewalks.

Revel nodded as he walked, “We walk this way everyday from school, this is the main street and we turn... at Pinecrest.” He looked up and turned, staring blankly. The street was gated off and piles of dirt layered the street. Revel whined. “It's here, I know it's here.”

The girl frowned, “It's okay kid, if you don't remember.” She held his shoulder, “You can stay with us still, maybe you'll remember later.” They stared in the mounds of dirt, listening to the sound of trucks driving through.

They started walking back toward the carnival, Revel looked around, “My church should be around here.” He suggested.

“Maybe someone will recognize you.” The girl replied and she followed Revel.

They came upon the church, closed off for construction. The girl let out a humming sound. “I am so sorry, kiddo.” The girl whispered.

Revel felt tears well up and a knot in his chest. “Can we... go home now.” He asked, looking at the girl with a lowered head.

When they reached the carnival Bepo was sitting with the tattooed man, he was busy sketching in a paper. They sat in lawn chairs, and Bipo's feet were kicked up on the wine cooler. Revel stared at the tattooed man, he couldn't see a bare part of his skin anywhere.

“I thought the whole point of taking the kid to his parents was he wasn't gonna come back.” Bepo said.

The girl rolled her eyes, “We walked around his neighborhood but...” She shrugged. “Bossman said no cops and if the kid can't find his house it's not our fault.”

“Then drop him off and run away.” The tattooed man said, looking at his knuckles. Revel could see Free written on each knuckle of one hand. He chuckled a little.

The girl whined, “I don't think he lives around here.”

Revel continued, entranced by the Tattooed man. He could see Bepo and Cinna hidden within the tattoos, he tilted his head. “Is your name on there?” He asked looking up at the girl.

Bepo and the Tattooed Man let out an uproarious laugh. The Tattooed man held out his right forearm, Princess was written in a heart.

“Your name is Princess?” Revel asked.

Bepo laughed and leaned back, “No, she never told us what her name was, Cinna had her name, Princess just kept silent. She's always the Heroine or the Princess anyway, she has no need for a real name.” He stated matter-of-factly.

The girl had her arms crossed, “In so many words, yes.” She winked at Revel. “Names tie us down, you know, if I wanted I could use a different name every town, but I prefer to always be Nameless.” She explained.

“Isn't that poetic?” The Tattooed man teased. Bepo and the Tattooed man laughed again.

The girl scoffed, “You guys are having too much fun, once we get our horses and lions you'll be shoveling poop and cleaning trash and won't have time for laughing.”

“I laugh when I clean poop, don't you?” Bepo asked, tapping the Tattooed man on the arm. They laughed again.

Revel thought deeply. “What happens when you want a tattoo but you have no more skin?” He asked.

The laughter stopped and the Tattooed man smiled, “The same thing Picasso did when he painted, I'll cover something with what I want.” He rubbed his chin. “Even if you cover something, does it negate what was there before?” He asked.

Revel looked deep in thought before his head tilted, “What?”

Bepo's laugh became hoarse, “It's okay Kiddo, yous too young to know whats up.” He explained. The Tattooed man stared in the dirt, the very meaning the world was in his gaze.

“Who's Cinna?” Revel finally broke out.

All three looked at Revel with intensity. “Cinna is the sister of Princess.” The Tattooed man told.

“She was the North Star of this circus.” Bepo spoke as if she was a myth.

The girl looked at Revel, “She disappeared a day before you came here.” She informed, “First we thought she was just play hiding, but now we aren't so sure.”

“We are actually pretty sure she isn't playing.” Tattooed man corrected.

Bepo looked annoyed, his breathing changed and he tensed up, “We want to look before the circus starts up to the public but...” He trailed off.

The Tattooed man cleared his throat and the sound of footsteps could be heard. “Hello, my children,” The Bossman proclaimed. “I hope what I smell isn't something parents and cops alike will get mad over.” He scolded lightly, then laughed.

Revel blinked and looked at the girl who shook her head. The Tattooed man twisted his mouth into a smile, “Do you smell anything Bepo?” His eyes shifted. “Princess? Kiddo?”

The Bossman looked over at Revel. “I thought he was going home.” His voice lost any cheerfulness.

“I don't think Revel has a home, I rather take him in as a child, instead of looking for something that doesn't exist.” The girl explained.

The Bossman frowned, “What can this little kid do?” He asked.

“Well so far he's been great moral support.” The Tattoo man said, grinning. “And I bet he can shovel poop and pick up trash, and even sell popcorn, since we'll be on stage when the hungry people are in the stands.”

Revel looked at the Tattoo man in amazement. “I-I can?” He asked.

The girl nudged him. “Please Bossman! All the ladies think he's just the sweetest thing, he's making us happy by being around.” She wrapped an arm around his neck and hugged him, laughing.

The Bossman's mouth twitched, though rather he was smiling or not was up for debate. “Fine.” He caved in, “But I don't want to hear any whining.” He sternly commanded, then smiled.

Revel nodded and grinned, “Yes sir!” He bellowed.

**

“Bepo?” Revel called out. He had a shovel that was nearly as tall as he was and he hefted a pile of poop and dumped it in the wheelbarrow.

“Yes little guy?” Bepo answered. He was on the other side with a bigger shovel.

“Do you believe in ghosts?” Revel slammed the shovel into the dirt and leaned against it. He was so sure he didn't belong here, and yet here he was, on his third shoveling duty. He started to question if Timothy was real, if he really had a Mom and a Dad and if the Sunday School was where he came from, because he just didn't know.

Bepo looked at Revel, he scraped up another load and dumped it in the wheelbarrow. “No, but I do's believe in little kids whos drop from the sky ands help me shovel dung.” He joked.

Revel frowned and grabbed his shovel, scrapping more poo. He looked up to see Cinna walking through the trailers. he looked at Bepo, whose face was intense as he continued shoveling.
"I'll be right back." Revel called, hopping over the fence.
"Where yous going, kid?" Bepo screamed.
Revel followed Cinna as she walked through the forest, her steps slow, deliberate. He followed, avoiding every stick and fallen leaf. She came to a lake clearing, the Bossman stood at the edge of the lake. Cinna disappeared the moment her feet touched the lake. Revel let out a squeak and the Bossman turned, facing him. "You looking for trouble, kid?" He asked, walking over.
Paralyzed, Revel looked at the Bossman, shaking and tears streaming down his cheek. The Bossman grabbed his arm and Revel let out a blood-curling scream.

The scream lasted as Revel opened his eyes, his mom, Timothy, and the Sunday School nurse stared at him in confused panic.

“Revel!” She shrieked and hugged him.

Timothy let out a howl and the Sunday School nurse thanked the lord for this blessing. Revel's eyes darted around the room, it was the church's nurse's building. He let out rapid, gasping breaths of air.

“The lake!” Revel cried out. “The lake is were Cinna is! Someone has to save her!” He bawled, his breathing heavy. All eyes stared in confusion, his mom cupped his face in her hand.

“It's okay Revel, it was just a dream.” She whispered, brushing the tears off his cheek.

Revel had pained looks on his face, “Cinna came to me... she needs to be saved... she's been trapped in the lake.” He said every word after long gasping breaths of air, “Please someone.” He whispered.

Revel's mom hugged him tightly, “Shhh....” She comforted, “It's all right now.”

Surrounded by tree stumps, the lake was now putrid green, tires, empty beer bottles, and chemical waste. The land abused and forgotten, Cinna stands in the center of the lake. She waits patiently for another person to come, to tell them she still exists, she's been covered up, but she still exists.